By VICTOR SIERPINA
Empathy is that special human characteristic of attending to and understanding another person’s feelings. It is an essential element in healthy human relationships, communication, care-giving and healthcare. I wrote recently about the erosion of this skill during medical school, which has been attributed to the many pressures of medical education.
A recent New York Times article by MIT Professor Sherry Turkle found a more troubling trend. A review from the University of Michigan of 72 studies over a 30-year period found a 40 percent decline among college students, most of the decline taking place after the year 2000. The trend line suggests our technology may be contributing to this assault on empathy.
When we are regularly looking with heads down at our amazing, powerful, incredibly useful hand–held computers, anachronistically called “phones,” we are not able to be heads-up with others. We are not looking people in the eye, reading their tones, facial expressions, body language and other nuances that make up over 70 percent of communication. Such observations help us to develop awareness of others’ feelings and our responses to them. Without the cueing of face-to-face contact, we may not develop the skills for realistic person-person encounters.
One 15-year-old interviewed by the study said, “Ours texts are fine. It’s what texting does to our conversations when we are together that’s the problem.” The article reported on a new kind of device-free summer camp where kids spend almost a week without a phone, pad, computer or tablet. During this time, they discovered themselves, the wilderness and each other in new ways that showed the resilience of people to change their behavior.
Continuous media interaction also creates another effect, loneliness. When we are ever distracting ourselves with screens and other digital devices, we may lose the ability to be alone with ourselves. This behavior prevents us from listening to and reflecting on our own inner thought-stream. Multi-tasking has clearly been shown to decrease the quality of our work compared to uni-tasking. Time for such reflection and quietude takes some practice both offline and online.
Let’s face it, smart phones and other gadgets are not going away anytime soon. In the meantime, MIT’s Professor Turkle suggested that we use these devices in a more mindful way. Setting some parameters on how and when to use a phone might include simple things to encourage conversation between friends and family at a meal, rather than talking about and regularly checking what is online. Paying attention to and noticing when we reach for our phone in a meeting, in class or in social situations may be a small step in altering a compulsively reflexive behavior that is degrading our empathy and connection.
As the 15-year-old said to his dad one night at dinner after the device-free summer camp, “Daddy, stop Googling. I want to talk to you.”
I encourage making a conscious effort to keep our heads up when with others. Notice, listen, appreciate and be gracious to them. The flower of empathy can again flourish in our digitally distracted age.
Professor Turkle has authored a new book you may wish to read if you are interested in deeper research on this topic: Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. Penguin Press.