By VICTOR S. SIERPINA
A hug is like a boomerang.
You get it back right away.
—Bill Keane
Do you like to be hugged? There is a physiological reason why you likely answered “yes” to this question. A century ago, a study was done in a British foundling home, a place where abandoned babies were kept.
The conditions were poor and most of them died. Those that survived had profound social, psychological and developmental deficiencies attributed by psychiatrist René Spitz to lack of a maternal connection. Reports have it that one night a nurse rocked, hugged and cooed to her charges while feeding them instead of propping their bottles in the crib. These infants grew and thrived by the power of touch.
The well-known Harlow study observed that orphan monkeys preferred hugging the warm-cloth-covered wire fake mothers than simply getting fed by plain wire mothers who actually held their bottles. Something about texture, softness, connection and bonding seemed to attract them more powerfully than food.
It is the same with humans. “Hugs Heal” has been the motto of the American Holistic Medical Association since it formed in the early 1970s. These holistic doctors appreciated the fact that given the many unknowns of caring, of disease, of destiny, that hugs actually do heal. People go away from an encounter with a caring doctor or other health professional, a friend or family member feeling enlivened and affirmed from the simple act of having a hug.
This is something I also learned from my mom. “I am a hugger,” she would exclaim with a beam. Rumor had it that we all need about 15 hugs a day for optimal well-being so it became her crusade.
Perhaps this is why I am not averse to hugging patients in my clinic. I respect their space and mine. Hugs are not always appropriate or acceptable and need to be invited. However, many of my patients feel like their visit is not complete without a hug. Some of my guy patients are just fine with a “thank you” and a warm handshake. Others are comfortable in their masculinity with a hug. My wife long ago got over concerns she might have had about the lipstick, rouge and other telltale signs of hugging on the left side of my white coat or collar. She realized it was part of my way of caring.
Which brings me to the “heart hug.”
This is a scientifically demonstrable fact that my hug-friendly patients now routinely teach my medical students. Here’s the secret: hug with your chin over the hugee’s left shoulder. This brings your two hearts in close connection. As the most powerful electrical energy source in the body, the warmth and energy of heart to heart is immediately apparent. As a comparison, try hugging, as it seems actors and movie stars do, with your head over the person’s right shoulder. You will immediately note the rather cool, somewhat less energetic feel compared to the heart hug on the other side.
Try it out yourself. I have seen the heart hug please many friends, family members, patients and medical students who learn to hug politely, appropriately, but meaningfully in the right (I should say, left) way. It brings people together in a special way.
Heart to heart. Let the energy and love flow.
Dr. Victor S. Sierpina is the WD and Laura Nell Nicholson Family Professor of Integrative Medicine and Professor of Family Medicine at UTMB.